WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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