if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
