Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
