Got a toothbrush?
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
