We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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