The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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