just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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