why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
