I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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