I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
