Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
