I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
