Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize