Define "chronic" masturbator.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
