Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
