I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
