I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
