Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize