so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
