margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
