I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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