There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You need a sexual gate keeper
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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