he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
