just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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