Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
