I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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