You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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