I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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