I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize