We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
