Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
