you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
