where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
