what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
