Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
