The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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