I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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