she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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