allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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