I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
