She said her name was "party"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
