Duck Duck Cougar?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
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