HIV tests are more positive than that guy
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
