dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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