Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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