That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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