youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
