But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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