i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
