yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
