Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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