What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
