so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize
