Kiss
Puke
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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