the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
