i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
