her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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