Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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