We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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