just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
