I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
