I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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