I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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